Baseball 101

I live far away.

I needed to get gas.

I went to a wedding last night.

These are the verbatim excuses that parents on my son’s baseball team gave me for why they were late to our tournament games this weekend.

Did your house move?

Did your gas tank spring a leak and it took you an hour to MacGyverize a solution using duct tape and a wad of gum?

You got invited to a last minute elopement?  How special.

No, of course I did not actually say those things.  Something in me prevents me from doing that.  I did, however, make a scene stomping around the ballpark, snapping at strangers with dogs, crying in frustration, trying to figure out where to get a spare uniform for my second son so that he could be our ninth player, even though doing so would probably get my coach suspended.

You might say that this is just recreational ball, the kids are just there to have fun, don’t take it so seriously.  My response is that this has nothing to do with baseball.  I’m not going to critique how the kids play, who is an athlete, or who has no business being on the field in the first place.  My beef is solely with the parents and the example they set for their sons.

When you sign up for a team sport, you sign up your whole family, not just the player.  You are making a commitment to get your kid the right equipment, get him to practices and games on time, and practice with him at home.  You are making a decision to give up other things during the season, like sleeping in late on Saturday mornings, watching American Idol live, or whatever else floats your boat.  If you have other kids, they are making sacrifices too.  They will have to do their homework in the car, stay up later than they should, or miss a few friends’ birthday parties.

Obviously I think these sacrifices are worth it.  My kid enjoys playing a sport.  He has put in a lot of effort to become reasonably good at it, but he also understands that the whole team needs to operate as a unit for success.  Not a bit unlike the real world.

Would you tell your boss that you live far away, needed gas, or went to a wedding and couldn’t function the next day?  Well, these parents probably would, but that’s beside the point.  Most of us plan how long it will take to get from point A to point B and add a cushion.  We don’t let the gas tank get below a quarter full.  We plan a vacation day after a wedding if we think we won’t be a good worker the next day.  (People who still think they have a “right” to get drunk once they have children in their care might be a future topic of conversation.)

Your actions tell your kid that he’s not a crucial part of the team.  That his activities are not as important as your fun.  That the work the team put in all season, culminating in a single elimination tournament, is worthless.  That you don’t care.  And we wonder why kids are complacent.

Life happens.  Tires go flat.  People get sick.  I’m not saying you have to make it to every single practice or game.  However, if you gave your firm commitment that you would be there, especially for a tournament, then that needs to be your priority.  There are ten other families on the team that could have picked up your kid and gotten him where he needed to be on time if you called.  If you wondered why we all exchanged names, phone numbers, and email addresses in that initial parent meeting, that’s why.

Ok, so now that we all understand how important just showing up is, let’s briefly cover a few other rules you might not know.

1. Coaches talk to umps, not parents.

2. Your league’s rules are posted.  Become familiar with them so that when you choose to yell at the ump anyway, you will at least have your facts straight.

3. You do not smoke at a kid’s game.

4. He may be your best friend, but he’s not mine.  Keep your dog on a leash.

5. We play when it is hot and cold, but usually not when it is raining or has been raining.  Know the rainout line for the field where you will be playing. (Yeah, this one requires knowing where you will be playing!)

6.  Generally speaking, if the coach yells "throw to first" and you yell "throw home," your kid will not make any play.

7. Your coach is managing the clock.  If he calls time, swaps out players, or tells the third baseman to check his shoelaces, there is most likely a strategic reason for doing so.  Ask the coach after the game if you don’t understand why certain moves were made.

8. Bring a cooler with ice, even if it is a cold day.  When your kid catches one with his nose, you’ll be glad you had the ice.

9. Get out of your car and watch the practice or the game.  You’ll learn the rules of the game and figure out if your kid and your coach are a good fit.

10. Take your kid to see the pros and semi-pros play his sport.