Idiot proof

I work with someone who has a favorite saying:  “Make it idiot proof.”  She does not mean this in a bad way.  Our colleagues are a bunch of tax technical gurus who have more work to do than hours in the day.  So, if we need them to do something, we need to make our instructions absolutely infallible.  If we don’t, it’s not so much that the recipient was an idiot, but rather that we were not successful in making our request clear.  Too much detail and they zone out; too little detail and it opens the door for mistakes.

I experienced this at home recently on trash day.  I asked the boys to bring down the box that the laundry sorter came in so that we could put it out with the trash.   A few minutes later I hear much commotion on the stairs with the little one saying “This doesn’t seem right” and the big one saying “You’re just a weak idiot” and the little one replying “I am weak but I am not an idiot.”  I could not fathom how bringing down an empty cardboard box could require two people and create an argument.  Well, I did ask both boys to do this, and I did yell my instructions up the stairs while they were playing Minecraft.  So, what they heard was “Bring down the laundry sorter.”  Yeah, this is a large metal contraption on wheels with three laundry bags suspended by metal hooks and requires two people, sweat, and probably a can of paint to touch up the walls if you’re going to drag it up and down the stairs.  My instructions had not been kid proof (I won’t call them idiots, even if one brother does use that term of endearment toward the other quite a bit).  Halfway down the stairs I stopped them, gave them credit for trying to do what I asked, and then asked them to lift it back upstairs and come back with the empty box.  Several “I told you so” and “idiot” comments ensued.

The next house will have an intercom and an elevator.